British & Singaporeans

The uniqueness of Singlish


When all has been sold out...
British: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Singaporeans: No Stock!

Returning a Call...
British: Hello, this is John Travolta. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Singaporeans: Hello, who page? or Siang Ka Pager?

When someone is in the way...
British: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: Lai, siam! or Siam ji bi! or S'kius!(excuse)

When someone offers to pay...
British: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans: No need.

When asking for permission...
British: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Singaporeans: (while pointing at door) Can or Not?

When asking to be excused...
British: If you would excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the gents/ladies. Please carry on without me, it would only take a moment.
Singaporeans: Le tan, Wa ke pang jio! (wait while I visit the washroom) or Wah, buay ta han, ai choot liao! (cannot stand it anymore, have to relief myself)

When entertaining...
British: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporeans: Don't shy, leh!

When doubting someone...
British: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporeans: Where got?

When declining an offer...
British: I'd prefer no to do that, if you don't mind.
Singaporeans: Dowan, lah. (don't want)

When deciding on a plan of action...
British: What do you propose we do now that the movie's sold out and all the restaurants are closed?
Singaporeans: Then how?

When disagreeing on a topic of discussion...
British: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said.
Singaporeans: Le siow, ah? (are you crazy?)

When asking someone to lower their voice...
British: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Singaporeans: Mai kao beh, kao bu!

When asking someone if he/she knows you...
British: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Singaporeans: Kua si mi? (What are you looking at)

At the sports arena...
British: I say old chap, this really isn't cricket. The umpire's really hard on him today.
Singaporeans: Leflea (referee) KAYU!

When asking girls...
British: Would you go out with me?
Singaporeans: Ai gia steady mai? (Be my girlfriend)